A Raw Deal: Chapter 1
by ghost1313
Summary: What happens when a man goes from his world to that of the Dirty Pair? Will he find love? Will he find spiritual enlightenment? Or will he just end up as another casualty?


Chapter 1: 

"YAWN"

CRACK

"owie"

Karl winced as he worked his jaw back into place, after having it crack from his monster yawn.

Knew I shouldn't have stayed up so late last night. Karl grumbled to himself working the last button on his stubborn BDU shirt into place. First, I get insomnia at the beginning of the damn week for some unknown reason, then for the other half I can't sleep till its 2 in the morning 'cause my schizoid sub-conscious is scared. What a great way to start a month!

Karl let out a deep sigh as he took the last few steps down off the stairway and headed toward the sliding glass doors of his dorm. Shaking his head ruefully, Karl pulls his hat out of the cargo pocket of his BDU pants and snaps it into shape. He plants it atop his head, the bill almost laid directly on the frame of his glasses, covering the small patch of brownish hair in the center of his skin tight high and tight as he strides out of the building.

Another day, another $2.30 an hour, and back to the Dungeon Hell called work. One of these days, Uncle Sam is going to finally pay me minimum wage.

Chuckling at his own humor, Karl let his feet guide him on the five minute walk that takes him to work. Normally he would have driven to work, but just his luck the week prior his car's engine decided to seize on him. Sigh. After spending almost $200 to get his car junked in Yen, the month was seriously looking bad. At least the yen rate was decent. Just another fun time Japan, uh huh. Then again there are not that many Americans that can say they drove a Skyline into the ground without being outrageously rich.

Ah well. The month can't get any worse, Karl reminded himself.

Nearing the end of his little journey, Karl walked down the stairs for another day of work as a Help Desk Technician, playing at being a quasi system administrator. Quickly opening the door and hurrying into work, Karl bumped into someone coming out.

"Oh. 'Scuse me. Sorry 'bout that." Karl excuses himself.

Grabbing the bill of his hat and pulling his head up, Karl found his vision filled with brown eyes about even with his, looking very shocked. Taking a startled step back, he took in more of the person he bumped into. A cute red head wearing a silvery colored space bikini, with what could only be called a small hand cannon hanging on her hip. Behind her an equally cute, blue eyed Asian stood there wearing the same thing as her companion, though her side arm was not as impressive.

Something about them triggered a little thought back in his cluttered little mind. Something about massive destruction, a fan fiction by the name of Undocumented Features, and... Karl's eyebrows met his hairline as it hit him.

Oh shit, Oh SHIT! Don't think that name! Don't even look like your even trying the think that name! It's the Angels, the Lovely Angels, as Karl's survival instinct decided to yammer inanely. A desperate grin crossing his face.

His mouth, taking the opportunity to work without its mind getting in the way, decided to start making pleasantries.

"Uh. Hello. Can I help you with something?" Karl asked politely.

Kei and Yuri looked at each other with surprised looks that quickly became harder as they focused on Karl. Murderously so. Yanking their guns out of their holsters, the Angel's pointed the business end of their displeasure directly at his head. Both of them.

Karl chuckled dejectedly at himself as his survival instinct fainted on him from fright, "Guess not."

"Put your hands on top of your head." Yuri growled at him.

"Kneel on the floor and tell us how the hell you got on our ship. Now! Before I really get mad." Kei outright snarled at him.

Complying quickly for he knew the chances of Kei following through on her philosophy of 'shoot now, don't bother with questions' when she was this angered was about even with the Sun rising in the East on Earth.

Clearing his throat from the tightness of stark terror, Karl started speaking.

"Uhm... I'm not sure how to put this but any way I say it it's going to be really weird. Item number one; I don't know anything about your ship, this ship, that ship, or any kind of ship. If I wanted to know anything about ships I'd ask the Navy."

"Yeah. Right." Kei snorted, rolling her eyes, "Tell us something original."

"Kei! Continue," Yuri said seeing that the man wanted to say more.

"Item number two; the last thing I knew for a definite was that I was in Misawa Japan on my way into work for the United States Air Farce. I mean the Air Force. In fact, I had just opened the door to go into my job when I bumped into you."

Kei narrowed her eyes.

Sighing Karl continued, "Item number three; another thing I knew for a definite it was the year 2002."

"Uh huh. Sure pal. Its 2002." Kei rolled her eyes patronizingly at the obvious loony.

Getting angry, Karl snapped. "Well if you don't believe me, hook me up to a damn lie detector and I'll answer any damn question you want."

Karl froze as he felt puffs of hot breath on the back of his neck as he sensed something extremely large behind him. Damn. Forgot about that damn cat.

Yuri and Kei glanced at each other and then at what was most likely Mughi behind Karl.

"Hold him Mughi." Yuri ordered as she slowly lowered her sidearm. That confirmed it for Karl.

Karl felt pin pricks on the back of his neck on his spine as the ET cat of the Angels took hold of him in his powerful jaws. Karl just started whimpering to himself.

Later

"Are you sure you have to stick that THERE!?!" Karl asked unbelievingly.

Kei looked at him with an Evil Grin(tm) and nodded.

Karl just groaned and laid his head back. You would have thought interrogation techniques would have improved over the centuries. he thought to himself. To give himself something to do, he pulled uselessly at the restraints on his wrists.

"Ready?" called Yuri from a group of monitors in front of her. Mughi lay nearby.

"Ready!" replied Kei gleefully skipping over towards Yuri.

Karl just sighed as he realized his chances of living were going to be good, but he wasn't so sure on the chances of not coming out maimed. He expected to come out at least mentally scarred from this experience. The soft hum of the equipment powering up told him it was about time to start this whole shenanigan.

Yuri glanced up from her monitors as she finalized the last readings as she plugged herself into the terminals and started talking.

"Relax for this please and tell the absolute truth as you believe it to be. It'll make it go faster and it won't hurt." Yuri recited.

"Yeah. Yeah. Don't mean to be overly rude here, but I've already heard the Speech. I've taken a couple of these before," Karl interrupted, "Let's get this over with. And just checking... Do you have to ask pre-questions for this?"

"No." Yuri replied a little miffed.

"'Kay. Just wondering."

Yuri glanced up again as Kei finished her plug ins. "We're starting now. Who are you?"

"Karl Jäger."

The monitors deeped a positive.

Kei: "Age?"

"23 as of 2001." deep

Yuri: "Affiliation?"

"United States of America Air Force. US Citizen by birth." deep

Kei: "Rank?"

"Sergeant?" bzzt! "ow."

Kei frowned. "Try again."

Sighing Karl gave his accurate rank. deep

Yuri: "Identification Number?"

"ID number? Oh, you mean my SSAN." Karl rattled it off. deep

Kei and Yuri looked at each other. "Stand by." Yuri's eyes glazed over slightly as she put her mind further into the VR world of the Net. After a few moments her consciousness snapped back into the real world and looked at Kei with confused eyes, shaking her head.

Kei narrowed her eyes at Karl and clicked at what sounded like a keyboard. "Try again with the ID number."

Karl shook his head and rattled it off again.

Kei and Yuri were both watching the terminal's screen as it whirred to itself. Obviously not paying much attention to Karl. After a few moments of no questions Karl started getting bored and started whistling snatches of Christmas carols, Bach, and pop songs. He never really finished any of them as he couldn't remember them that far. As from the looks of pain from Mughi, it must be torture for everyone else as it was soothing for him. Ah well.

Looking back at Kei and Yuri Karl noticed that they were looking at him with decidedly odd looks.

"What? Don't like my whistling?"

Kei smirked, "That's part of it."

Yuri: "Where were you stationed?"

"Misawa Japan, Earth." deep

Yuri: "How did you get here?"

"Not sure. Wormhole. Got bounced off a micro-singularity in Earth's gravity well. Trans-fictional Cross-location. Maybe an Oscillating Over thruster hit me and I've been thrown into Dimension 8 by way of Planet 10. All in all got me." deep

"Anyways all I really know is that one minute I was stepping into work and then I was here." deep

Kei: "Which one of us looks prettier?"

"WHAT!?! What kind of question is that!?" Karl screeched.

Yuri glanced at Kei and then gave Karl an Evil Smirk(tm) full of glitter, "Answer her. Besides you promised to answer any question we wanted to ask."

Realizing the horrors of answering the question truthfully and the even more horrendous prospects of trying to lie, Karl did the only thing he could.

"shit. I PLEAD THE FIFTH!"

Kei and Yuri exchanged looks and stared daggers at Karl, "What's that supposed to mean!" in unison.

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that if I answer potential physical harm may come to my being. In other words, if I answer either way, one of you is bound to kill me for not thinking that she was pretty enough." deep

Yuri: "How do you know that? You don't even know us that well. We have still yet to give you our names."

Unfortunately at this point panic had gotten hold of Karl and kicked the survival instinct out of the driver's seat and responded, "Of course I know you! Your the freaking Dirgag'ovely Angels. Ah damn, your probability alteration factors just kicked in. I'm fucked." deep

Karl's glottal hurt after that extreme bit of vocal wrangling as his survival instinct kicked panic back into its dank little cave. But from the looks of anger that just passed over the Angel's faces it appeared it was still too late to save his skin from being flayed.

I've never wondered what it would feel like being flayed alive, but I'm about to find out. Karl whimpered in his mind.

Yuri: "You say you just appeared here and it appears you believe it true, yet you know of us. How is that so?"

Kei snapped the action on her hand cannon through its cycle, chambering a round.

Karl coughed, "Uhm... well you ever hear about the theories of Trans-fictional Universes? Or the more properly known as the World-as-Myth Theories, partially originating from Robert E. Heinlein?"

Yuri: "No. Not really. Quantum Mechanics was not a subject I was really interested in."

Kei: "I've seen some holovids based off Heinlein's books, but I don't remember anything like that."

"Well... According to the theories, all fiction from Alice in Wonderland to the most current fiction being produced in book, film, or animation is real in one alternate dimension or another. deep

"In the Space/Time Continuum that was my Home Dimension, you two were fictional characters originally produced as comic book characters that made the jump to animation. Your popularity soared to multi-national audiences at that point and provided the impetus for another comic book series to be made in your honor by a group of independent writers and artists. After that another animation series was produced again, hoping to re-catch your original popularity. It didn't hit so well. I sure didn't really like it. Also fan fiction was produced in your honor. Some better than others." deep

Yuri: "Fictional Characters?

"Yes. But obviously as I'm looking at you now, here you are quite real. So obviously the theory is innately correct." deep

Kei: "We saw time as cartoons."

"Yeah." deep

Yuri: "What did they call the series?"

"You're not going to like the name, but..."

Kei eyebrows almost met, "THAT name?"

"uhm... Yes." deep

Yuri: "Fan Fiction you said?"

"Hai." deep Karl was glad to get away from that particular subject.

Yuri and Kei looked at each other and then looked at Karl. Buck naked in Antarctica during a blizzard would have been warmer, but not by much. Kei thumbed off the safety for her cannon.

Kei: "So that means that there was 'fan art' of us? Right?"

Gulp. "Yeah." Nervous grin. deep They must know the hormonal predilections of otakus.

Yuri: "If there was fan art of us, then that means that there was... potentially 'indecent' art of us also, yes?"

Kei leveled her cannon at Karl's cranium. Karl had given up speaking at this point and just nodded his head dejectedly in the affirmative. Yep that's a positive if I've ever seen one. deep

Kei: "So how much of it did YOU own?"

"A few scans." deep

Yuri: "How bad were they?"

"uhm... If I remember correctly... the 'Buxom Babes' incident was probably cleaner than what was put out on the net on average." deep

Yuri drew her sidearm and chambered a round for it, directly thumbing off the safety.

Kei: "You KNOW about that?"

"Ja." Karl started sweating bullets at this time. deep

Yuri leveled her weapon at Karl. "Who took the pictures?"

"The UG crew that came to rescue you." deep

Kei glowers. "Not Shasti?"

"Nope." deep

Yuri looks at Kei, "Well that's one that she didn't do, amazingly enough."

Kei growled. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Yuri: "I know, but..."

Kei: "when we find that crew..."

Unison: "They're dead!"

Karl looked to heavens shaking his head, If I live through this, so help me when I find the version of me that's writing this damn self insertion, I"M GOING TO KILL THE BASTARD!!!

Kei looked back at Karl with a questioning eyebrow, "So which one of us looked prettier?"

"WHAT!?!" screeched Karl jerking head level with theirs, almost throwing himself to the floor. "ow." Those restraints hurt.

"From the hentai of course? Which one of us looked better?" Yuri chimed.

"IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT?!?!" Karl yelled "WHO THE HELL IS THE BETTER LOOKING OF YOU TWO?!?!"

Kei conspicuously appraised Karl from head to boots, "No, but we'd like to know."

Karl started pounding his head rhythmically against the headrest along with barely whispered 'damn it's. After starting a headache, he looked directly at Kei and then Yuri who was just as obviously giving him the once over too.

"As much as I'd like to think your both interested, it pains me that being honest, as far as I know Kei is usually only interested in beefcake, and Yuri usually seems to attract the worst in males." deep

Unison: "HEY!"

"For that matter I'm definitely not the first and I try not to be the second." deep

Kei moves her cannon off line with Karl's head and he breathes a sigh of relief. She looks at Yuri. 'Well?"

"why not." Yuri takes her gun and thumbs the safety on. "But first I want to hear more about us being 'fiction'."

Karl's grin of joy turned upside down and made a good impression of a drama mask.

"Well I wouldn't mind hearing more about our cartoon series." Kei thumbed her cannon and holstered it. "They should start one here for us."

Karl knew this was going to be a long session. He damned and thanked his Karma for kicking in about the right time.

Three days later...

Karl stared up at the ceiling, whistling tunelessly. By this point he was seriously bored. After three days of being stuck in the same room with nothing to do, it's amazing what the human mind will do to keep itself occupied. Such as item number one, there were 2,523,459,783 individually distinguishable perforations in the air vent filter blowing directly over his head. That had filled up a good couple hours. Especially since he had to recount them to make sure. Twice.

Item number two; he now knew the exact dimensions of the room using various body parts as measuring guides. From the looks of it, Mughi was living it pretty good. A ship's captain in the US Navy would have loved these quarters.

That brought up item number three. Wondering how Mughi was getting along for sleeping arrangements considering that Karl had gotten thrown into his room as a gilded cage. Poor bastard. Then again with some of the thoughts that went through Karl's head, maybe not. Considering the only other probable place to sleep was in the Angel's quarters. Either way, the damn ET cat was a bastard.

And for the final item, Karl had at first tried to sleep the time away, but that had back fired. Now he was so jazzed on built up energy that he couldn't fall asleep anymore. That had caused the whole tirade of things to do in the first place.

Sigh. One can't win for losing.

Karl set down to start counting the number of pores in one cubic inch of his flesh, when he felt the hum of the ship shift. Must have changed drive systems. Like it really mattered to Karl, he had no way of telling if they were in FTL or on sub-light engines. Picking himself up, Karl pulled his boots back on and re-bloused his pants.

Picking up his BDU shirt he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and popped a toke between his lips. Reaching into his pockets for a lighter, he remembered that the Angel's had taken all of them away from him. The matches too. Considered those to be more of a hazard than his pocket knives which they left him. Strange. Pulling the useless cigarette from his lips he put it behind his ear to wait till planet fall so that he could get some nicotine in his system. Not that he really needed it but he had gotten used to smoking when he was extremely nervous or stressed. He really had wished for one after the interrogation. The strip search definitely had not been needed.

Shudder. SHUDDER!

Wait a minute. That just wasn't me? Was it?

SLAM!

Karl got thrown off his feet into the bed. Untangling himself from the covers, he grinned wildly. Nope that wasn't just me!

Karl grinned as he reached for his cigarette and found it wasn't there. He started to search for it on his hands and knees so that he could put it back with the rest in the pack. That's the only thing that saved him from being thrown around the when an explosion rocked the whole ship.

Shaking his head to clear it, Karl scrambled around for his glasses. Putting them on, he looked around the now scarlet room, sirens blazing. He really hoped that the Angles wouldn't forget him if this was an emergency. Hearing the door open, Karl sighed in relief. They hadn't forgotten him. Turning around to face the door, Karl nearly ran into what looked like a torpedo tube from this range as his eyes crossed to focus on it. Karl jumped back in startle and focused on what was behind it.

What was behind the rifle was a rather large and bulky figure. A ski-like hood covered his head. Guns, knives, ammunition and other immediately unidentifiable equipment were over bulky Kevlar like armor. All of it in a deep grey. Weird what your mind will fixate onto when your about to die.

"Who are you?"

Feeling like he'd done this only a few days prior Karl sighed. "Jäger. Karl Jäger." He felt like he should be asking for a martini right about now. Shaken not stirred.

"Why are you on this ship?"

"Would you believe prisoner?"

The boarder, for lack of better words at the moment, grunted.

"So the Dirty Pair didn't like you, huh?"

"Guess not. Considering that I'm stuck in here."

The boarder grunted and held out a gloved hand to Karl. "Guess any enemy of my enemy is my friend, eh? You help us and I'll see that you get a cut of this, ne?"

Karl gave a self amused smile and took the pirate's hand and let himself be helped up. "One minute. I got a favorite hat in here." Picking his BDU cap out from among the ruckus of the room, he plopped it on bill backwards. Turning back around, Karl made a leg and motioned with his hand.

"Lead on good sir."

The pirate shook his head in good humor and turned his back to Karl to check the hallway before going back out. With a flutter of nervousness, Karl took that opportunity to strike. Karl jumped at the pirate and threw him into a choke hold. Twisting his whole torso at the hips and snapping his hands out from the hold, Karl heard the pirate's neck break with a loud crack. The body quickly lost strength and he caught it under the armpits. Pulling it over to the bed, he threw the corpse onto it...

...and then Karl got noisily sick in the corner. After his stomach gave last one heave, he wiped at his lips and started searching the body. Grabbing the guy's handgun, Karl thrust it into the small of his back and started looting for clips for it. After a few harried seconds, he thrust them into his pockets. Slamming his back against the wall next to the door, Karl pulled out the gun and checked its action. Looked enough like the guns Karl was used to. Safeties and clip actions in about the same places. Checking at what was normally the slide action; Karl was pleasantly surprised that it worked like the ones back home. Thumbing the safety off, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, dropping into a supported kneeling position, checked the halls for one of the corpse's friends. None immediately showed up and Karl took off at a run.

Time to get to that bottom of this.

Karl heard the sounds of struggle from the side corridor ahead. Walking silently up to the intersection he slipped the gun into his belt, hidden from view. Taking a quick look around the corner he saw a flash of red hair and the uniform of the pirate that had invaded the ship.

Hmm... some guy is taking on Kei in hand to hand. Don't know if this guy is that good or suicidal

SLAM!

Ducking his head around the corner again he saw the flash of red hair again and the blur of the pirate standing over it.

That good it looks like.

With one last good look, Karl saw the pirate binding Kei with what looked like zip-cuffs. Taking a deep breath and releasing it silently to calm his nerves, Karl walked silently back up the corridor. Walking heavily and whistling as nonchalantly as possible he started back down the passageway.

"Freeze muther fucker!"

Karl stopped dead in his tracks, throwing his arms up into the air in the classic surrender pose. He did not have to fake his surprise.

"Turn towards my voice! Slowly!"

Karl slowly inched his way towards the voice, keeping his hands up in the air. The nervousness he must have been showing did not have to be faked. While turning around Karl took in everything he could. Kei was laid out behind the pirate, groaning softly thro a makeshift gag. Her head lolled too loosely in her unconscious state. Her hands were bound behind her back.

Must have taken a head hit. Going to be out for a while then.

Taking in the pirate, Karl saw him standing there holding his gun at him unprofessionally at the hip. His whole body shook with tension. The nervousness the pirate must have been feeling was very apparent to Karl.

Lucky is what he is. Definitely not a pro.

Karl drew a shaky smile, "Hey man! I'm on your side! These bitches took me prisoner! One of your guys let me out."

"Oh? Really? Why did they take you prisoner? Who let you out?

"I don't know. Guess they just didn't like my cologne. One minute I was enjoying some tea and the next I was in a cell. As for who let me out, how am I supposed to know? You guys all look alike in those outfits." Karl tried a chuckle, "He just came in came up and let me out, saying that any prisoner of theirs is a friend of theirs."

The pirate's body visibly relaxed and the barrel of the gun went out of line with Karl's body. Karl gave an inward sigh of relief.

"Can I put my arms down now?" Karl asked.

The pirate nodded his head.

Karl relaxed his arms slowly to his sides so as not to make the brigand too jumpy.

"Watch that intersection. We don't need the other bitch just showing up on us." The pirate instructed.

Karl nodded his head and took position at the intersection. Not so much as to watch for Yuri, but for the pirate's friends. Looking back Karl saw the pirate start stripping Kei of her equipment, down to her space bikini.

Baka! Karl thought Defiantly not pro. Come to think of it he sounded barely old enough to start shaving much less hold a gun.

"So how old are you?"

"Old enough."

Karl shrugged, "If you say so. Got any family back home?"

"No."

Now that sounded wounded! Karl looked back at the kid. He had about half of Kei's stuff off by now.

"So why you doing this?" Karl brought up.

"You know you ask a lot of questions 'friend'. Maybe I should call you Manx till this is over. Like the cat you know? You know as in 'curiosity killed'?"

"And brought back my boy-o." Karl shared a chuckle with the kid. "Just wanted to know what I'm getting myself into that's all. This is the 3WA we're talking about here."

"I can understand that." the kid replied, he grunted as he chucked the last of Kei's gear a ways. Karl glanced back at the kid. He looked tired. "They came to our world a few years go, Manx. After some 'criminal' they claimed. Anyways they caught him and left. After they left it seemed our defense-sats went nuts and launched missiles at our planet. We entered a nuclear winter which caused a premature ice age. And it's all these damn bitches fault!" He backhanded Kei across the jaw in anger. "Our best techs couldn't figure it out. They didn't find anything that would have made the sats act like they did. Plus the sats still reported that they had full loads. So in the end it must have been the damn Dirty Pair who did it! They were the one who launched the nukes at us! And the 3W-fucking-A doesn't give a shit 'cause they're their top agents! Murdering whores!"

Karl inwardly shook his head. Some people as just too blind it seems.

Glancing back, he saw the pirate draw a huge buck knife and wrapped his other hand around Kei's throat. Karl looked back down the other corridors, "So what you guys going to do once you have both of them?"

"Execute them publicly. For the sake of our world." the boy's fanaticism sounded more than real. Reverently so.

Karl looked over his shoulder and saw the kid running the tip of his knife down Kei's front. Kei's head wasn't lolling as much any more and her groaning seemed to be getting more coherent. Karl's stomach clenched and looked back down the corridors.

"Such a waste of good flesh, you know Manx." the kid breathed.

Karl's spine stiffened. "huh?" He slowly turned to face the pirate.

"I said it's such a waste of good flesh." a glint of hunger entered his voice. "We could have a taste you know? Me and you Manx. We could get a real good taste."

Karl could have sworn he heard the boy lick his lips. His stomach jumped into his throat and he swallowed it back down. Karl's hand went stealthily towards his gun. Kei's head stopped lolling as much any more. Her muscles apparently strengthening again. Karl did not like the way this was looking to go.

The pirate started tracing the knife down Kei's front again, down towards the sides of her bikini bottom, where it was thinnest. Kei's body jerked as she came to, her eyes snapped open, and stared hatred at the pirate in front of her. She tensed her body to start struggling. The pirate just tightened his hand around her throat and brought the knife up into her view. He shook his head and knife in unison.

"No, no, no. Be a good girl and it won't hurt as much."

Kei looked at the knife and then at the kid's eyes. Whatever she saw made her skin blanch and a scream tired to rip its ways from the gag. Karl's hand found the butt of his gun and started to curl around it.

The pirate's knife flashed, cutting her top wide open and split the side of the bikini's bottom in one smooth motion. Kei was laid as bare as the day she was born. Her eyes bulged as the pirate brought the knife back into view and laid it against her neck. The kid removed his free hand to adjust his outfit. Kei closed her eyes and began to weep.

"Hey kid." Karl called gently.

"What?!" the pirate growled. His eyes turned and meet the unblinking two inch eye of Karl's hand cannon. Karl's eyes were ice behind it. "What the hell is this!?!"

"I don't like rape." Karl replied. He fired a single shot between the pirate and Kei. The boy obligingly jumped back.

/ Condition Critical - Quiet Riot /

The cannon roared as Karl pulled the trigger as fast as he could. The sound of a clip clattering filled the silence before the second wave of rage. The halls strobed in time to the flashes of gunfire. Karl started walking towards the pirate. Another clip barely had time to bounce as the gunfire continued to eviscerate the pirate. The sound of another clip joining the others on the floor and the soft moans of pain from the kid echoed hollowly in the silence. Karl slammed another round into the chamber and looked down at the child before him. His eyes pleading behind the shock settling in. Shots rang out as they struck ankles, knees, hips, elbows, and shoulders. The slide struck home as the last round filled the bastard's skull.

Karl looked back at Kei. She laid there curled up, eyes wide with terror. Tears streamed down her face. Thumbing the slide release, he shoved the gun back in his belt and picked up the knife that the pirate dropped. Kei's weeping deepened as Karl neared her, her eyes going wild. He sliced through the zip-ties and sawed off the bindings of the gag. Dropping the knife, he pulled off his black undershirt and dropped it in front of Kei's face.

"Put that on." Karl's voice was tight. He turned back toward the corpse and started pawing for more ammunition. He pocketed what ammunition he could. The pants were bloody, but still serviceable. Karl started to work the boots off. Listening with half an ear, Karl heard Kei's weeping lessen as she pulled her self up and struggled to get his shirt on. Karl tossed the boots over his shoulder, and started on the pants.

"why?" Kei's voice was soft.

"Why what?" Karl started to pull the pants off the corpse.

"why... Why did you stop him? Why didn't you..." her voice trailed off.

"I don't like rapists." Karl grunted as finished pulling the pants off and glanced over his shoulder. He saw Kei sitting there pulling the t-shirt as low as it'd go. He threw the pants at Kei. "Here and cinch them up tight."

Karl chuckled at the sight of Kei wrinkling her nose at the smell of the pants before she picked them up. He turned around and started grabbing Kei's equipment.

Dropping Kei's gear at her feet, Karl popped a fresh clip into his gun and watched at the intersection for the corpse's friends.

"Hurry. I don't want the pirate's friends to find us here."

Kei complied, quickly buckling her gear on. She picked up the pirate's rifle and racked a fresh round. Kei looked incongruous dressed as she was. Enough equipment to make any one look twice, which was over baggy holed combat pants and a loose black t-shirt. Her tears still drying on her face.

"thanks." That was all that needed to be said.

Karl gave a quick grin, "Let go."

And they started to look for Yuri.

Karl did not like the way this was looking. Especially not since he was currently enclosed in the Jefferies tubes of the ship with barely enough room to make the sand crawl during Basic Training seem roomy. Glancing over his shoulder to look at his companion, he saw Kei slumped in the corner of the juncture, deep in the ship's internal net. She was trying to find Yuri using the ships internal sensors. Kei had told him it would only take a few minutes and that was a quarter hour ago.

God damn! You would have thought a relatively small ship like the Angel would make it easy to find a person!

Karl shook his head in frustration and started to loosen himself up. Joints popped in his neck and arms. He was already feeling the after effects of combat. Holding a hand up to his eye, Karl could see the small tremors there.

The Shakes. Hrmph. Great. Just freaking great. First step met and set.

Kei stirred from her cyberspace trance and Karl glanced up.

"Well?"

She put a finger to her lips and pulled out a pad and stylus. After scribbling on it she handed it to Karl.

- The ship is being infested with surveillance nanites. Don't talk and use hand signals or writing. Too bad you don't have at least a datajack. And no I couldn't find her. The pirates are jamming the ship on all levels. -

Fuck. You got to love technology. Or hate it.

Karl sighed and wiped the pad.

- We need better equipment. Where do we get it? And what do you mean "all levels"? I thought the Lovely Angel only had one level.-

Kei took the pad and looked at it. A huge grin erupted.

- The armory. Where else? –

Karl made a threatening gesture. She just silently laughed.

- And yes the Lovely Angel only has one level. We're connected to a freighter for its better jump drive.-

- Jee-zus, I should have figured that out after how long we had to climb. Well. Let's get going already. -

Kei nodded and they started moving.

Karl crouched at the corner and put up a closed fist with his free hand. Kei stopped and covered the rear. Karl ducked his head around the corner to look at the door of the weapons hold. He saw two pirates attempting to arc wield their way through the door. Tapping Kei on her shoulder to attract her attention, Karl pointed at his eyes holding up two fingers. He motioned at their approximate positions and pointed at Kei to take one on the far right.

Kei nodded her understanding and gave her a thumbs-up. Taking a deep breath, Karl pulled out his side arm and Kei checked her safety. Holding up his free hand Karl started to count down from five. On one they jumped from behind bring their weapons to bear on the pi...

"...Yuri!?!" Karl and Kei chimed in unison.

Yuri lowered her handful of Bloody Cards and the 'Lektromag, "Kei?!"

Kei promptly dropped the rifle and ran tears streaming into Yuri's arms. Yuri looked on worriedly as Kei started going into a blubber fit. She looked at Karl questioningly.

"Later," Karl said as he picked up the rifle. Slinging it over his head into a modified combat sling, he looked Yuri over as she tried to calm Kei down. Her uniform had obviously seen better days and thankfully it didn't show any indications that she had meet the fate that Kei almost had.

Thank Gods. Karl wasn't sure he'd be able to handle two cases like that in one day.

Looking down at the pirates that Yuri had neutralized, he saw Bloody Cards sticking out of their armor. Squatting down to get a closer look at the one closest to him, Karl saw the surgical precision that it had been thrown with. The card had hit what looked to be the thickest part of the armor and the only part that would allow the minimalist amount of card through. Reaching out, Karl confirmed what he thought. The pirate was still had a pulse and his breathing was the semi-regular of one who had just been hit with a few amps of electric juice. Being careful of the monomolecular edges, Karl yanked it out and inspected it.

BLOODY CARD WITH PROTOTYPE SHOCK tm TECHNOLOGY!!!

Karl chuckled. It looked like the entire otaku and comic industry back home owed Yuri an apology for her use of the laughably inaccurate things. She was probably the only True Master of the Bloody Card in the next three Omniverses.

Looking up again at the Angels, Karl saw Yuri's face was set like stone over Kei's shaking form in her arms. Yuri's nostrils were flared. Karl shuddered. He felt sorry for the pirates. Not only did they have Kei on a Psychotic Episode TM over her near rape, they had pissed Yuri off. Didn't they know that she was the only one allowed to upset Kei? Guess not.

Pulling the hoods off from the pirate's heads, Karl noted that one of them had a severe amount of visible augmentation. Probably an ex-military or merc. Hard to tell with his age though. The other was noticeably younger. He looked the age of the one that Karl had put down earlier.

Breakability or comprehensive information?

Glancing at the Angels, Kei was noticeably more stabilized than she had been and Yuri had a very determined set to her jaw. Looked like payback was due real soon. Thumbing the safety and taking aim with the rifle, Karl pulled the trigger.

BAM!!BAM!!

Kei and Yuri jumped. They looked back at Karl as he re-slung the smoking rifle and reached for the pull handle on the younger pirate's LBE gear. Looking at the other pirate they saw two holes in his head. One over the left eye and the other right above his lips.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Yuri screamed.

"We need information."

"I know that! I mean why did you kill him?!"

Karl settled the pirate against the wall and started looking for the zip-ties that the other one had used. He was getting tired. Sighing, he spoke.

"Like I said. We need information. Reasons? Point one; having both still alive, even in a captive state, would be too great a threat than having just one as a prisoner. Point two; looking at the apparent state of the older of the two proved that it would take too long to interrogate him for needed information. Even assuming you can do a brain drain like a lot of cyberpunk RPGs hint at, he'd have tactics available to slow us down. Point three; the elder's age would have worked against us even more in that he would have found a way to help the younger withstand interrogation therefore using up valuable time. Point four; the older would have found a way to escape and attempt our capture or deaths. Point five; the pre-emptive execution of the elder will help once the younger awakes to further soften him to interrogation due to shock. Conclusion; pre-emptive execution of the elder benefits our combined survivability more than it hinders." Pulling the last zip-tie snug, Karl looked at the Angels

"That's a very Neitzchian way of looking at the situation." Kei said. She looked the proverbial green around the gills. Then again with the amount of cyber and bio manipulation that this universe was eluded to use by Warren and Smith, maybe she literally was.

Yuri still looked ram-rod straight. "Interesting. So how Machiavellian are you? No matter the explanations for your reasons, that was still cold-blooded murder. You're going to have to pay for that. Also so when are you going to kill us to improve your own survivability?"

Karl grunted. "I'm not. For one it doesn't improve my chances by one damn bit. In fact, it rather hinders them. Besides I'm starting to like you two, and with friends, their survivability precedes mine. Still don't know how the mental software came up with that, but that's how it goes. So deal. Can you get this door open before the re-enforcements arrive??"

Yuri harrumphed and punched a code into a panel to the side of the door. Karl grabbed the pirate and yanked him in. Kei and Yuri followed in and they set down to rapidly strip the locker.

Karl felt immensely better now that he had something approaching armor on. He would have felt even better if the said armor hadn't looked and felt like a flak vest. Also he had gotten his shirt back from Kei so that helped against possible abrasion. She looked much happier in her normal space bikini as she was strapping on a compact combat battle array. More than a suit of armor but less than full power armor. Hearing a bit of grunting, Karl looked at their resident captive pirate resting against the side of the Jeffries tube. Looked like he was waking up again. Karl just shook his head and back fisted the pirate on the temple.

CRAK! Out like a light once again.

Hearing a hard grunt Karl looked over to his side, he saw Yuri putting on the last of her gear on with more force than was needed. She wasn't looking too happy. Karl merely shrugged and snapped the last of his gear on.

Wasn't much really. An energy diffusing cloth armored vest, a couple of heavy blasters as side arms, a few high-tech knives, a small SMG to supplement his acquired rifle, and few rows of grenades on his sides. It was all the Angels would allow him to grab. Well Yuri anyways. Kei was so happy and oblivious that she had stripped down to nada in the weapons locker to start putting her gear. The smile that Karl had seen on her face was sure to give him nightmares for the next month if he survived this.

What Kei and Yuri were wearing was a bit more than what they were usually known to be equipped with. Like the difference between a TOW-equipped hummer and a main battle tank. Their bodies were covered in about an inch thick of futuristic plate armor. Shoulders and calves arrayed with micro missile launchers. Small support weapons peeked out of from ports in various locations on their armor. Their main weapons were easily as long as Karl was two-thirds tall and had bores the size of 10 inch cannons. He had noticed Kei was carrying two. Note to self, DO NOT step in front of her. The scary smile was still there.

And the final thing that had Karl clearing his throat every so often was they were rigging drones. Gun drones. Really, really, REALLY BIG ones. Again, after glancing at Kei's direction, Karl once again vowed to never...EVER piss Kei off. Five of them were a bit much and the way two of those were equipped. Shudder.

This was not going to be pretty for the pirates.

Yuri pulled out a small rectangular box out of one the bags she had brought along. She fiddled with it for a couple of seconds and then set it down. Karl felt the hairs on the back of his neck standup. Yuri gave Kei a thumbs-up and then looked over at him.

"So how much combat experience do you have?"

Karl looked up from his preparations at Yuri.

"Not much. Just enough to keep me alive. Hopefully."

Yuri grunted. "Sure. So what are you going to do with your friend over there?"

"What do you think? Interrogate him. Find their numbers and such."

"Fine. Just so you know I'm going to be watching so that you don't violate his rights completely."

Karl shrugged and moved towards the pirate. Taking a thumb and peeling back an eyelid Karl checked the kid out with his limited medical knowledge to make sure that he hadn't hit him one too many times.

Appeased that the damage wasn't too much to prevent information gathering, Karl started to slap the prisoner's cheeks to wake him up.

The captive pirate groaned as consciousness came back to him with what looked like a massive headache. With a bit of luck the headache would help the interrogation process. The prisoner opened one eye and quickly closed it with a grimace. Obviously the light hurt a bit on that headache.

Karl chuckled evilly. "Wakey, Wakey."

The pirate looked at the sound of Karl's voice blearily. He snuffed and looked to be trying to work himself out of his bonds. Karl let loose with a punch to the jaw, bouncing the pirates head off the wall. The pirate groaned in pain. Yuri growled in her throat, but didn't say anything. Karl just ignored her.

"Lesson one: Don't try to escape unless you're a masochist."

The pirate looked up from the floor and eyed Karl. With a sudden movement he lobbed a glob of spit at Karl. Karl just barely moved in time. Karl snarled, but made no movement other than putting his foot on the pirate's windpipe and started to press down. The pirate started to cough for air. Karl let up as Yuri sniffed.

"Lesson two: Don't be belligerent. You be mean to me and I repay you back equally or more. Now I have some questions. Your going to be nice and answer them aren't you?"

"Fuck you pig." The pirate's voice was a surprisingly light alto behind the harshness of a pressed windpipe. Must be younger than he looked.

"Now, now. Don't be so negative. You provide me with the information I want and I can guarantee that you'll live through this little escapade with minimal harm. Now be a good little boy and tell me what I want to know."

The pirate's eyes got large and then closed as a sudden fit of laughter hit the pirate. Karl was getting mad and just pressed down on the pirate's throat again until the laughter stopped and the pirate was gasping for breath. Karl let up enough to let the pirate get some air. Karl heard Yuri shift. Looking over at her, he saw her look of disapproval.

"I don't know what you found so damn funny, but you better start telling me what I want to know and be damn quick about it or we're going to start on your back. Did you ever want to know what it feels like to have the skin on your back peeled off in sheets? No? Well you're about to find out if you don't start talking."

The pirate's complexion paled. He was getting even whiter than oxygen starvation would normally allow for. Karl smiled wickedly. Feeling a tingle over his shoulder Karl looked over in that direction meeting Kei's eyes. She looked disappointed. Karl's smile fell. He looked down at the prisoner again.

"Now then you're going to start answering my very simple questions? Right?"

The pirate nodded.

"Good. First question. How many are there of you?"

"Two Squads." The pirate's voice was weak.

Karl grunted and quirked an eyebrow at Yuri. Yuri sniffed heavily.

"Two Squad, minus three. That should leave anywhere from seventeen to twenty one."

The pirate jumped under Karl's foot. He looked a little frantic.

"What did you pigs do with my partner?" Obviously the pirate's will wasn't broken.

Karl looked down at the pirate. "Well that's very simple. Your partner's brains are currently decorating the deck plating, and if you don't continue to be cooperative, then you're going to join him. Kei over there is feeling very antsy over you pirates considering one of your people tried to rape her."

The pirate's eyes went wide again and he started to scream, a very feminine scream of loss. "FATHER!! FATHER!! YOU MURDERING BASTARDS!! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!" He started to sob.

Karl frowned. This definitely was not going according to his plan. Now the prisoner was going to be even harder to interrogate. Looked like he would have to go to Plan B. Karl kicked the pirate as hard as he could in the midsection. The pirate's lungs emptied and he tried desperately to gasp for air. Whipping out his knife, Karl stuck the tip at the top of pirate's uniform and yanked it down. Grabbing the edges of the tear he just made, he violently flung the uniform top down the pirate's arms and...

... stopped. Kei and Yuri gasped. Karl felt sick. This was defiantly NOT going according to plan. The cabin boy was a cabin girl.

"Shit." Karl's voice was little.

The pirate glared defiantly at Karl, daring him to look at her and do worse. Karl felt a heavy hand on his shoulder; looking over at the hand he followed it up to Yuri's eyes. They were hard, but understanding at the same time. Karl shook his head. He could kill and torture a man without blinking, maybe even relish it a little if he really hated the guy, but to torture a woman? He moved away from the prisoner toward the hatch Kei was guarding. Karl looked back over at Yuri.

"I'll take over watch. You two finish the interrogation."

Yuri nodded. Karl looked over at Kei. She was unreadable. He punched in the code to let himself out. As he was stepping out, he felt a hand on his shoulder again. Karl looked at it. Kei squeezed and let him go. Karl slipped out the door and it slid shut behind him. Tears started to flow down his face. Wiping them from his face, he hardened himself again. He would deal with this later.

If there was one.

Later...

Karl shifted and heard his knees crack. Grimacing, he flexed his legs and moved slowly around the tube giving his knees some exercise. This was taking longer than he liked, but they needed that information from the pirate if they were to survive this encounter. Amazingly enough they still had not been found. Maybe the pirates were waiting for them to make the next move now that they knew that they would retaliate with deadly force and their plans had not gone off flawlessly. Reposting himself, Karl settled in again to wait some more to be let back in and briefed on what was found. Feeling a sudden jumping movement on his leg and a rattling noise, he looked down. Karl saw his hand trembling so hard it was jumping. This was getting bad. With his other hand, he grabbed his trembling limb and squeezed hard on a pressure point. He concentrated hard on it to stop shaking.

After a few seconds, it finally stopped shaking and was under control. Wiping at his head he felt a good coat of sweat. He wasn't sure if it was from the exertion on stopping the shaking or part of the signs for the second stage. Either way it wasn't a good sign. He hoped that this would end before it got too far into the later stages. Then he really wouldn't be very useful at all. That meant, dead.

He turned to knock on the door to be let back into the room. Interrogation and information be damned, they needed to get this over with now before he became a liability. Only his knock never came, he looked Yuri eye to eye. She looked confused, and was that a bit of worry in that frown?

Yuri motioned Karl into the room. He wasted no time. Kei turned the device on again. Karl felt his hair stand on end again. Yuri's eyes unfocused and refocused, she nodded an OK. She turned her head to Karl.

"You OK?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'm fine. So what did you get?"

Yuri looked at Kei with a frown. Kei shrugged back. Must be communicating with their implants. While they were having their private chat, Karl risked a glance at the pirate. She wasn't looking so hot. Even asleep she was sweating hard with a pale complexion, tears just running rivers down her face. Her voice sounded horse through her unconscious sobs. He could see redness around one of her datajacks. Data rape, pure and simple, the Angels must be desperate as he was if they resorted to such means. At least they gave her a new shirt.

Karl looked up at Yuri and raised an eyebrow. He didn't know whether to be disturbed or just plain sick.

Yuri frowned. "We didn't rape her mind. It was a more forceful version of the interrogation that we gave you. More direct."

Karl frowned. He looked over at Kei. She nodded her head. He'd believe her for now. Karl just looked away and sat down.

"So what did you get from her?"

Yuri started. "She came from a world that we had visited awhile back. We were after a Hacker, by the codename of Trinity. She was a genius at programming, only she devoted it viruses, Black IC, and sociopath suicide AIs. After some initial background investigations and time we found out that Trinity was on her planet." She pointed at the pirate. "We landed and proceeded to start tracking her down. We had plenty of help from the locals. They seemed really anxious for us to get off planet as fast as possible."

"Geez. I wonder why?" Karl asked rhetorically.

Yuri made a face, "Well any ways we found her quickly and apprehended her. We thought it was in time, but it seems like she had planted a suicide AI in the programming of the defense-sats that surrounded the planet. It was a smart one. Waited till we had left and set it's self off."

"Let me guess. This where you tell me they had a hell of a nuclear winter and blamed it one you two."

"Yes. How did you guess that?" Kei frowned.

Karl looked over at her and grinned, "From our mutual friend that now is spilling his guts across one of the decks right now."

Karl started as Kei let loose a feral growl.

"Calm down girl. You'll get your revenge."

Karl could have sworn he heard Kei purr on hearing that. He shuddered.

"Well, if I may continue?" Yuri asked.

Karl motioned a hand. "Please."

"As I was saying the defense-sats went off and they couldn't find any trace of the suicide AIs and thought we had done the deed. So they set out to hunt us down and kill us in revenge for savaging their planet."

"Well that's all good and all, but I already knew this part of the story. So what was the beneficial portion of the tale?"

Yuri sniffed. Obviously, Karl was pushing all of her buttons but good. The only thing that was probably holding her back was that Karl had helped Kei, by preventing her rape.

"Well we found out that, like what you already obtained, that there are two squads worth of people total on their ship. They are organized in their standard twelve man teams, minus of course, now four personal. So that leaves twenty people to deal with. All of them are moderately armed except for five of them. That explains the light armor and light weapons loads. None of them are mod-ed out farther than standard datajacks and a couple of combat mods. Arms blades and speed enhancers really. Her father that you killed was the most mod-ed out of their entire group. None of them are gene-mods, so that means we don't have to worry too much. Well except for you." Yuri looked at Karl with mock sympathy.

"Well excuse me for just getting here and not having a chance to be mod out yet!" Karl grumbled.

"You're excused!" Kei said in a chipper tone. She stuck her tongue at him to signal she was only kidding. Karl just shook his head.

"So what else?"

"Well they attacked us with a heavily armed cutter. There's barely enough room for everyone in the ship, double bunked and double shifted. Only four of their people are trained for space flight and working on the engines so they're more or less out of the fight unless it really becomes desperate."

"So that leaves us with about 16 pirates that we really have to worry about, eh?"

Kei nodded. "Yep. But overall we only have to worry about the five heavily armed ones. She resisted saying what they had on them. Only a mind rape would have gotten that information and well..."

"After your experience, you couldn't do abide by doing it to someone else?" Karl finished for her.

"Well yes."

"Thought so."

Yuri's voice was small. "Uhm, Karl?"

"Yeah." Looking up at Yuri and Kei, he saw worried looks cross over their faces. "What?"

Kei pointed and Karl looked. He saw his hand trembling uncontrollably. He wiped at his face. It was drenched.

"shit."

Karl picked up the limb and concentrated on making it stop shaking. He felt his entire body start shaking. This was not good. It was accelerating. He quickly diverted his concentration to his entire body.

"What's wrong?" Kei sounded worried.

"TSS." Karl's teeth were chattering. He felt himself sweating profusely, yet he felt colder than ice.

"TSS?" Yuri was confused.

"Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I'm going through the stages. Slowly, but powerful enough to be noticeable. My mind hasn't totally been affected yet. I'm not sure how much longer that will last. Don't you guys have training on this?"

"No. What are the mental signs?" Yuri's voice was business like.

"Paranoia with delusions. Atavism, extreme mood swings from stress, desperation, eventually catatonia and/or autism. It affects everyone at different rates depending on mental strength. Usually soldiers from my time period are trained to deal with it, but still it affected us as randomly as it would a normal person. Sometimes more forcefully, by skipping catatonia completely and going into apathy, sadism, or going bonkers completely."

Karl felt the shakes slowly come under control. He panted as it finally stopped. He looked up at Yuri. She almost looked worried about him. Nah, it was his imagination. She was probably worried about his productivity or potential liability.

He felt arms help him up. Kei's eyes were wet. Karl motioned that he was ok.

"So Yuri. What's the plan? I'm game."

Yuri gave a half grin and started detailing the plan. Kei's and Karl's faces moved to match and eventually all their smiles became wolfish.

/ Bwomp – Mushroom Head /

Karl stepped softly as he approached the corner of the passageway. With a small mirror, one of the Angel's coat hangers, and piece of recently chewed gum, he peeked around the edge and saw a four-man team slowly patrolling the passageway. They were displaying at least some professionalism. They actually pie cut each passageway and leapt-frog them. It wouldn't help them in the end.

Pulling the mirror back and slipping it into a pocket, Karl slowly counted to ten and went to work. Swinging around the corner and dropping flat on his chest, Karl let loose with a full auto barrage at the team's knees, felling them before they had a chance to do more than offer a few wild shots.

Getting quickly up to his knees and switching to semi-auto, he quickly caressed the trigger four times. Each shot landing under each of their chins, in the weakest part of their armors. The passageway quickly filled with foul odors as their involuntary muscles relaxed.

Moving with haste, Karl grabbed ammo off the corpses and ran to meet up with the Angel's. He was halfway having some fun here. Feeling something wet trickle down his arm Karl stopped and checked it. A small flesh wound marred his skin. Amazing he hadn't felt the pain yet, then his stomach hit the floor as he once again realized that this was not a game. He could die and these were real people.

Karl felt sick at his enjoyment. He'd offer up sympathies for the dead later. But for now he had to live to do it.

/ Dragula - Rob Zombie /

Gunfire filled the passageway. Kei and Yuri were laying down covering fire, keeping the two-man squad pinned down at the end of the hallway. Karl scrambled through the ventilation shafts as quickly as he could. Damn he wished one of the Angels were doing this. He wasn't sized right for these shafts. Then again the Angels probably wouldn't get through these much better. All that enhancement and what not.

As he neared the vent, Karl looked down through the slats. Seeing his targets, he positioned himself for some movie style action. Taking out the magnets that the Angels had given him, Karl strapped them to his legs. He pulled out his blasters and tucked his arms close. Taking two quick puffs of breath, Karl flung himself backwards.

The vent slammed open and Karl spread his arms out like wings and approximated where the pirates had been. He jerked the triggers as fast as he could.

Hearing the screams of pain, Karl knew he was on target. Taking a second to actually aim, he capped a couple more shots to make sure.

Holstering his blasters, Karl swung back up into the vent. Tuning off the magnets and disconnecting them, he crawled out of the shaft, dropping into the passageway.

Karl jumped as shots rang out right next to him. Looking over, he saw Kei putting the finish touches into the two, now definitely, deceased pirates.

He quirked an eyebrow and was rewarded with that scary smile again. Suddenly he felt that he wouldn't mind the safety of the ventilation any more, no matter how small.

Looking over at Yuri, Karl saw her reloading her weapons.

"What's the count?"

"Eight. A two-man we jumped. The four-man you encountered, and this two-man."

"Great. So that means we only have twelve more to go."

"Good. Let's get going." Kei's scary smile hadn't dropped.

Karl and Yuri looked at each other and swallowed. They just nodded their heads and moved out.

/ Shout – Tears for Fears /

Karl nervously glanced down the passage they had just come. Kei was covering the other end of the corridor while Yuri was jacked into the freighter's mainframe. The last two decks had been a bit harder than the clearing out of the Lovely Angel. Those ones had had at least minimal paramilitary experience. It was almost hard to believe that only two people could hold and secure two whole decks of a freighter the size of an aircraft carrier. It was only because the Pair had kept the pirates attention at the last that Karl was able to get into the ventilation again and drop a grenade behind their position. That had been a rough fight.

The sound of Yuri's breathing pattern changing caught Karl's attention. Looking over at her, she finished jacking out of the main frame. Kei and Karl slowly and warily regrouped on her position.

"They repositioned. Currently the last ten are near, or on, the pirate ship. They have taken more losses than they figured probably."

"So did the system tell you how they're deployed?" Karl asked. "And what about Mughi? I haven't seen or heard hide or hair about him."

Yuri looked over at Karl and sighed. "They have Mughi on their ship. He was the first and easiest one to capture. He was doing a patrol on the freighter when they hit."

"Poor Mughi" Kei sniffed.

Karl shuddered. Kei's mood swings were starting to get wilder by the minute.

Yuri looked askance at Kei and continued her briefing.

"Currently of the ten left, five are stationed at the entry point of the ship on our side and I'm guessing that the last five are stationed at the same point in the pirate ship. They're waiting for us to come to them instead of hunting us anymore."

"So incredibly beautiful and intelligent leader what is your suggestion on how to get at them this time? I don't think the ventilation trick will work in this situation. Hell they might just be vacuum sealed right now and be ready to pop the air lock to suck us out in space and pick us up that way. I for one can't exactly survive a vacuum bath real well. I tend to swell."

Yuri raised an eyebrow at Karl's attempt at sarcasm and just shook her head.

"Unfortunately this calls for a frontal assault and you're right. You're not equipped for the fight in this case." Reaching into a compartment on her suit she pulled out what looked like a hypo-spray. She handed it to Karl.

"Here. Take this."

Karl gingerly plucked it out of her hand. He raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"Combat Drugs. If you take them, they'll temporarily raise you to our level of conditioning and modification without having to go through the processes. In fact you'll probably exceed our capabilities in the way of combat functioning. That drug was designed for combat upgrades as a last ditch."

"So I may die from using this?"

"No. At least I don't think you should. You'll more than likely go berserk and die from secondary wounds, but you shouldn't from the drug."

"Yeah. Real fun. And from what you just said I'm guess you want me to be the front line as you two take them out from the rear?"

Kei shot a glance at Yuri and Yuri just nodded.

"Yes. Will you do it?"

Karl twirled the hypo-spray between his fingers and thought about it for a couple seconds. Then he nodded his head.

"Yeah. I'll do it. Under a few conditions."

"What are they?" Kei asked. She almost looked worried about this. Yuri was displaying professional cool.

Karl's face broke into a wicked grin. "I get a kiss from each of you and an apology for the way you guys treated me when I first came on board." Yuri nearly jumped out of her suit and Kei almost fell down laughing. Karl merely waggled his eyebrows.

Kei wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand. A wicked grin jumped at the corners of her mouth. "Sure thing lover boy." She purred as she took Karl's face into her hands and their lips locked.

Karl's eyes jumped as wide as saucers as their lips touched and then quickly became slits of pleasure. Yuri's arms crossed and she started drumming her fingers on her arms. When Karl started to turn a little blue from the lack of oxygen, Yuri cleared her throat. Kei sheepishly pulled back.

"There's more of that later if we survive." She purred seductively into Karl's ear. He nodded absently in a daze. "And I'm so very sorry I pointed my gun at you when you appeared." She said as she nuzzled his neck.

Karl absently patted her on the hair as his hormones were making his brain pretty fuzzy. "S'tats s'kay. Alls forgiven."

Yuri gave a stern, "Kei" as Kei gave Karl one last nuzzle before slinking back into a cover position. Karl's heart stopped on each bump of her hips.

Yuri walked up Karl and waved her hand in front of his face until he snapped out of it and looked at her.

"I'm really sorry that we overreacted but you have to understand our point of view on the situation."

Karl nodded his head. "Yeah I can understand the reasons. You didn't have to be so harsh on the interrogation though."

Yuri at least blushed on that one. "Well. I'm sorry about that too."

Karl shrugged. "All can be forgiven."

Yuri smiled. "Good." And then she locked on his lips like a lamprey and Karl's eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the suddenness of the kiss, but what she lacked in the way of Kei's fiery passion she made up for in sensual technique as Karl's eyes crossed. By the time that they parted lips, Yuri was blushing as hard as Karl was blue. In fact he was gasping for air and pounding his heart back into action.

She whispered into Karl's ear. "Just like Kei, there's more of that later if we survive. Then you can let us know who's better in the sack." She glided over to the other end corridor with a fox like smile on her face.

All the hormones that had rushed through Karl's blood system from the kisses suddenly screamed and went into hiding. 'Damned if he do and damned if he don't', along with a mix of 'can't win for losing.'

Karl sighed and just put the hypo-spray to his neck and hit the button.

/ Zombie (Techno Version) - Cranberries /

Karl took a deep breath and released the safeties off his SMGs as he nestled his hands onto the grips. He slowly released the breath as he reached for his version of the void. It came quickly and smoothly. Karl shuddered in ecstasy. Taking a step forward, Karl stepped out into the corridor and gave a sharp right face, his boot heels cracking. The pirates barricaded at the other end jerked and popped their heads over their makeshift palisades. Their guns cycling.

"HALV TIME, HARCH!" Karl bellowed in his best parade voice and led off with his left foot.

The pirates looked questions at each other. What the hell was this guy?

"HUTZ! 'WO! HUTZ! 'WO!" Karl's footsteps struck the plating in time with his calls. His left hitting harder than his right in perfect military style.

"Halt! Or we'll shoot" one of the pirates yelled.

A smile spread across Karl's face.

"DELAYED CADENCE. MAD DUCK CADENCE. COUNT CADENCE, COUOUNT!" Karl's Jody stayed in time with the falling of his feet.

A shot rang out from the pirates and ricocheted off the plating by Karl's head. Karl barely flinched. "Halt! Or the next shot won't be a warning shot!"

"ONE!" Karl jerked the trigger of his left SMG. KRACK! The pirates wisely ducked.

"Shit!" Pirate 1 yelled.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I said 'Shit!' you asshole!" The same pirate yelled.

"TWO!" Karl pulled the trigger in his right SMG. KRACK!

"This guy is frigging crazy!" Pirate 2 yelled.

"A LITTLE BIT LOUDER!"

"I said you're FUCKING NUTS!" The pirate yelled at him raising his head over the palisade.

"THREE!" KRACK! "THAT'S MUCH BETTER!" As pirate number 2 fell with a bullet in his head.

"This guy is completely out there!!" Pirate 3 screamed at his cohorts.

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!" His friends yelled at him.

"FOUR!" KRACK! "BRING IT ON DOWN!"

"What the fuck did he mean 'Bring it on down'?" His question was soon answered as Karl pulled the triggers down on his SMGs and let them buck. The bullets ricocheted off the back wall. Narrowly missing him and the pirates in the barricade.

"ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! US AIR FORCE!"

The firing mechanisms in the SMGs snapped into the locked position as the clips quickly ran out of ammunition.

"WHO ARE WE?" Karl continued his Jody as he dropped the now useless weapons onto the ground.

"DEAD!" The remaining pirates yelled as they jumped up from their positions and prepared to fill Karl with a stomach full of lead. They stopped short as they saw two severely armed and armored figures on his sides, right behind him.

Karl shook his head. "Nope. You are." As he calmly pulled out his sidearm and aimed.

The pirates let go of their weapons causing them to swing at their waist due to their slings. "We surrender!"

A foul order spread threw the air. Karl wrinkled his nose. Definitely NOT trained.

Karl slowly lowered his sidearm with a wicked grin on his face. "They're yours ladies." Karl felt more than heard the huge guns the girls carried move a little off line of the surrendering pirates as he turned to high tail it back to the safety of the corridor.

The pirates glanced at each other before they started to move to be taken away. Kei and Yuri moved so that they would be out of the way and still able to cover the pirates and the corridor behind them if any of their compatriots decided to retaliate.

They didn't have to wait long.

KA-BOOM! Karl barely jumped to the ground in time as one of the pirates launched a micro grenade at him. Kei blew the bastard into the next five life times. Throwing himself out of the way and blindly pointing his sidearm in the direction of the pirates, Karl shot a few rounds to keep people's heads down.

/ Tom Sawyer (Small Soldier's Remix) – Rush /

Yuri grabbed Karl and shielded him with her armored shell. A heavily armored drone landed on the grenade before it detonated. Karl felt Yuri jerk as the dump-shock affected her. All Hell broke loose as the pirates dived behind their cover and grabbed their guns in the confusion of the blast. Bullets filled the corridor like buzzing wasps while the Pair and Karl had to take cover.

"That could have gone better?" Karl quipped. He looked over at Yuri and gave a questioning eyebrow. She shook her head and waved it away as nothing. Karl just frowned. He looked over at Kei and she had a maniacal grin plastered on her face, her eyes glazed. Karl wasn't sure if it was her recent 'problems' or her normal battle lust, but either way she was sending shivers down Karl's back.

A bullet ricocheted of the bulkhead next to Karl's head and he reflexively jerked back. A frown developed on his face and a familiar burn in the pit of his stomach appeared. He was starting to get angry and not just any angry, but cold fury angry. Karl's breathing started to deepen and his body started to heat up as the adrenaline rushed through.

Karl heard Kei and Yuri returning fire down the hall, but he heard it as though it was trying to fight for attention over the sound of the ocean in his ears. A rumbling started to develop in his throat as he started to growl with each breath. With quick movements Karl reloaded his pistols with full ammo and put two clips between fingers in each fist, along with one in his teeth.

Closing his eyes and reopening them Karl's vision had tunneled and his growling had stopped. He barely even thought to notice the reduction in return fire from the Angels as they glanced with concern at this abrupt change of his entire demeanor. Kei had even snapped somewhat out of her own bloodlust. But both their eyes filled with understanding as they felt through their empathy his state and they gave each other slight nods and continued return fire.

With a full throated roar Karl jumped out from behind the bulk head, jerking the triggers as fast as he could. The surprise of him just jumping into the hail of bullets prevented the pirates from just ending Karl's life right there. With a lucky hit, as Karl wasn't aiming, one of the rounds took out half of one of the pirate's head. The other pirates intensified their barrage hoping to cut Karl down. Rounds slammed against Karl's vest and plucked at loose bits of clothing, but other than instinctively rolling with the impact of the bullets as he moved around, he hardly even noticed.

Kei and Yuri glanced at each other in bewilderment and then lit with dawning comprehension. They quickly started to lay down cover fire, trying their enhanced best to keep from hitting Karl and still try to hit the pirates. One unlucky bastard was clipped by one of Yuri's drones before he too met the Grim Reaper by Yuri's hand.

Karl was already on his second set of clips and still advancing helter-skelter on the pirate bunker. A cry of pain rang like a musical note above the gunfire as another pirate was clipped out of the action. Kei's hoot of victory gave away the winner of that trophy.

Karl, in a fool hardy move, hopped onto the top of the bunker and placed his face into that of the last pirate in the slaughter pit. Karl's eyes shone with a light long past being sane and his smile, one of impending pain. The pirate didn't have time for prayers as Karl emptied his last pair of clips.

Karl roared down the entry tube, his bloodlust consuming him. He wanted more things to kill; his blood had yet not been cooled by the pirate's deaths. His long bound daemons coming to bare.

KrakshooomBOOM!!!

Karl flew half way back down the corridor, his flack vest smoking. Five figures slowly steeped out of the darkness wearing Mark 7 Power Armor. Storm bolters mounted on their gauntlets and heavy energy weapons buzzing. Yuri and Kei cried in fury as Karl landed limply on the deck plating. They charged from behind their cover and laid down a path of death. The first pirate that had stepped through met a quick death. His storm bolter was still smoking from his first shot. The other pirates moved as quickly as they could into a defensive pattern and started to lay a storm of energy at the Angels. Whether not caring, or realizing the futility of diving for cover, the Angels started to advance on the pirates. Fury, like that which even the gods fear, lit their eyes.

Strange lights danced like fairies as they continued their steady advance. The laser beams and plasma discharges seeming to bend and divert at the last second from touching the Angels. Karl slightly raised his head and shook it just as the Pair stopped on either side of him. The berserk mode had not been diminished by the near fatal blast. Karl rolled forward and pulled off his now useless flack jacket. He felt a burning in the center of his chest. Sweat poured off him, and the cool air blowing on his skin gave a delicious chill. Anger still had not left him and something new had been added, but he couldn't consciously feel it. Neither the Angels nor Karl noticed as the laser beams disintegrated into spikes of harmless light around them. Plasma discharges went from balls of flaming death +20 to willow o' wisps.

The pirates felt fear then, unlike any they had ever felt before. They glanced unsteadily at each other and attempted to fire even faster, as fast as the capacitors would allow. Two more pirates fell as the Angel's probability alteration factors kicked in with a vengeance and seemed to have become synchronized and amplified with Karl's presence.

The last two pirates started to edge back into the ship as the Angels and Karl started to advance on them, continuing their ineffectual cover fire. Karl charged one of the pirates and jumped onto the pirate through the cloud of debris, his pistol on the red lens of the pirate's helmet. Kei blasted the weapon out of the hands of the pirate in a lucky shot.

"DECANT NOW YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER OR ELSE I'M GOING TO PUT A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD!!!" Karl screamed.

The pirate quickly threw up his arms in surrender as Yuri shot the last of the armament out the last pirate's hands. He too raised his arms in surrender. Kei and Yuri took cover positions over the pirates and Karl climbed off the pirate, trying not to block Kei's line of fire.

Karl shook his head as his entire body began to shake. Sweat poured from his brow.

"What the hell just happened?" He asked.

Kei and Yuri glanced sideways at each other and shrugged. They were still coming down from the fight. "We don't know."

Karl shook his head. Out of the corner of his eye Karl saw the pirate Yuri was covering snatch a tube from his side and in a flowing motion started to snap it at Yuri.

"NO!" Karl yelled as he jumped in front of Yuri, pushing her out of the way as he pulled the trigger of his pistol. He caught the sight of Kei jumping in startlement and start tracking to what had caught Karl's attention. He felt a slight tug and some pressure on his right side.

Kei's gun roared as she finished off the pirate into the lands beyond. Karl watched as a glowing red line whipped back into the tube. His side felt wet and he put a hand on his side. Something didn't feel right. Holding his hand in front of his eyes, it was covered in bright crimson blood. Karl felt a deep need to cough and went with the flow, spitting up a clump of blood.

"Fuck shits."

Karl immediately fainted.

Some time later...

Consciousness floated like a thing at the edge of darkness. Karl fought to keep from slipping back into the worlds of dreamlessness. He slowly worked on what his senses told him so that he could wake from the fuzziness of the un-death he was in.

A crisp softness slid with his fingers as his hand slightly convulsed. Comfortably cool air lightly tugged on his bangs. A moderate softness pressed against Karl's back. Karl took in a deep breath and felt his lungs gently fill with air. Flowers filled the air and a sharp smell tugged at his nose, causing him to scritch at the back of his throat. Soft voices were at the edge of his hearing, dampened, and closer sounds of people starting and quietly gasping. Karl took a deeper breath trying to clear out his nose as he slowly opened his eyes.

Karl blinked tears out of his eyes at the brightness of the room. He brought up a hand to rub at his eyes. He could hear the breathing of the people in the room quicken. Karl squinted with his hand up to block out the light and looked down to the foot of the bed where he heard the rustling.

I can guess at the blurs if nothing else, since I don't have my glasses on and I don't know where they are. Karl mused.

Slowly Karl's eyes focused on the blurs that resided at his feet. Kei and Yuri were there. Kei lifted her head from the bed and Yuri straightened from her uncomfortable position in the nearest chair. Both of them in rumpled civilian clothing, as though they hadn't seen a bed for some time. Karl's bewilderment almost caused him to drop back into unconsciousness as he stared like a fool at them and then his hand move as he moved it around. The thing that amazed him the most was that it always stayed in focus.

Yuri cleared her throat and Karl looked at her his eyes reflexively focusing on her, "They fixed them when they patched you up. Along with a few other things." Her voice was a little rough.

Karl opened his mouth as to speak and Kei spoke up. "They're not cyber, straight meat. It was a simple alteration to your genes to get them to work properly." She sounded rougher around the edges then Yuri did.

"How? What...?" Karl began. His coherency failing him as his mind tried to catch up.

Yuri moved up and sat on the bed next to Karl. Kei moved onto the foot of the bed from the chair she had been on. They both wore an unusual expression.

"You remember the ship?" Yuri began.

Karl nodded.

"You remember all the fighting?" Kei asked.

Again Karl nodded his brow furling.

Kei and Yuri looked at each other.

"Do you remember the last fight?" Yuri asked, looking at her hands.

"Yeah I remember. Somewhat. I remember seeing movement and yelling and trying to push Yuri out of the..." It all hit Karl and his heart rate climbed. The pirate moving. The glowing line. The tug at this side. "What? What happened...?"

Kei cleared her throat, "The pirate managed to pull out a monofilament whip out of nowhere and he tried to use it to kill Yuri. You noticed and pushed her out of the way. It hit you."

Karl shuddered, "How bad?"

Yuri turned a little green, "He took out two-thirds of your right lung, most of your kidney on that side, and injured various other organs along with taking out the entire rib cage in that area. He just missed your aorta though. Barely"

Karl paled.

"You fainted in immediate shock," Kei continued, "Yuri slapped an emergency med-kit onto you and we scrambled onto the Lovely Angel. We burned out the warp engine making it here," She chuckled, "It blew so bad we almost didn't land, but we made it."

"We rushed you to the hospital as fast as we could," Yuri got up and moved over to the window and opened the blinds to look through; "We almost didn't make it. You had lost a lot of blood. Your organs were starting to shut down."

"Damn." Karl felt his blood run cold.

Kei moved up closer on the bed next to his waist, "The doctors got you into the Re-Gen tanks immediately and they worked on you. They re-grew the organs that were the least injured by the whip, but they had to clone you a new kidney and lung. Since they had to grow them both as pairs, they went ahead and replaced them both. We told them to enhance the organs. They've got some pretty good filters on them now. It will take a whole lot of booze now to make you drunk," Kei giggled, "They also did your eyes at that time. We asked them to for you."

Karl felt amazement flood his senses, but a little itch kept bugging him behind his left ear and he scratched at it. It felt a little tender and slightly metallic. The shock must have shown on his face.

"We also had them put plugs in." Kei admitted.

Karl took a deep breath and tried to absorb all of it. The near death, the replacement of parts of him. Karl rubbed a hand across his chest. So much and so little time to absorb it.

"You won't scar if that's what you're worried about." Yuri said as she let the blinds close.

"Guess I should thank you two," Karl said quietly, "with what you did you save me and all."

"Don't worry about it," Kei said, "We can devise ways you can pay us back later." Her grin turned wolfish. For some reason it frightened Karl more than usual.

"No. We should thank you." Yuri said as she turned around. Karl barely had time to notice that her eyes where wet. She rushed forward and threw her arms around Karl and squeezed. Hard. Karl grunted. Not knowing what else to do, he put his arms around her and hugged back.

Slowly Yuri let her hug go and gave Karl a peck on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered into his ear.

"Your welcome." he said, "Both of you," with more force.

Kei reached over and hugged him also, though, thankfully not as hard. Yuri wiped at her eyes, smile beaming.

"Thank you," Kei added. She released him and rose up. She pulled out a data tablet and held it in front of Karl. "Can you please put your thumb right here?"

Raising a suspicious eyebrow, Karl looked at the unreadable text before him. A combination of English, Russian, Cantonese, and Japanese characters jumbled all over the screen. "What is this?"

Kei glanced sideways at Yuri and then back at Karl.

"It's just some standard paperwork for the 3WA to have the hospital release you. We just need your 'signature' that you authorize the 3WA to pay for your stay."

"What! You guys don't have free health coverage?"

Kei laughed. "WE do. YOU do not. In fact you don't even exist. Your signature here," she tapped the pad, "will correct that."

Karl switched eyebrows in suspicion. "You're absolutely sure I HAVE to do this?"

Kei and Yuri nodded. They then, in unison, squeezed their arms under their 'enhancements' and pouted, "PLEASE??"

Shaking his head to clear it as hormones tried to take control, Karl took the data tablet and put his thumb over the glowing square and pressed. It quickly beeped. With a grin, Kei clapped her hands and took the pad out of Karl's hands. Tapping it a couple of times, she squealed in delight. Yuri came over and the smile on her face wasn't any smaller, she looked at Karl and waggled her eyebrows.

Karl sub vocally groaned. He had a feeling he just made a BIG mistake.

Kei and Yuri squealed in unison and acted like little girls still in grade school. Giving the tab one last tap, Kei handed it back to Karl. Karl's eyebrows meet his hairline and his jaw dropped to the bed sheets.

In big bold letters it said, "CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO THE WWWA, KARL JAGER. NOTICE: YOUR TRAINING HAS BEEN WAIVED FOR IN FIELD TRAINING. YOU ALSO HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO THE 'LOVELY ANGELS', AS PER THEIR REQUEST. ONCE AGAIN CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACCEPTANCE. THE CENTRAL COMPUTER."

"Isn't this just great?" Yuri asked Karl. "Not only were we able to get you a job for helping us, but you also getting to work with us!"

Karl just laid back into the pillows and groaned once again. The Angels looked at each other and then looked at Karl.

"Something wrong?"

Karl just shook his head and worked at the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming on. "No. Just tired. So how much longer do I have in here?"

"Two more days and then we just have to wait for the Lovely Angel to get finished with repairs. That should take a week or two. That should give us plenty of time to get you a new wardrobe." Yuri giggled.

Karl just sighed. "Well until then, I need my sleep. Goodnight ladies." Karl snuggled deeper into the bed and pulled the sheets over his head and tried to go back to sleep for he knew he wouldn't get very much the next couple of weeks. The Angels just looked at each other with questions in their eyes.

/ Kiss by a Rose – Seal /


End file.
